This blog post is wholeheartedly selfish, I am writing it because I need to. My blog has documented so many life events and I can't miss this one out. It's taken me many months, adding bits here and there so if it reads like that, well, it will. The whole time I am typing I am sobbing, this post may be triggering - if you are grieving right now, you have my full empathy and it might be best to skip this one. Then again maybe we all share grief. This may be cathartic to some of you, I ...

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